Sleep health: 20% // Nightmares: A vivid and awful one that made me fear for my life. Odd.
I made a conscious effort last night to go to bed and listen to pink noise to help me enter deep sleep. However, I seemed to miss my window and tossed and turned while the sun came up. At some point I did fall asleep, then I started to wake up a bit at 9:30, not really being fully rested. Immediately after that I got a call that I answered. I shouldn’t have answered that call, let’s just say that. Picking up the phone and immediately becoming irritated has now jarred me awake. I was so close to falling back asleep before the phone went off but now I’m too worked up to rest again. I have a meeting I want to join today so it’s going to be hard to stay focused. And yeah, the sleep I did manage to get was compromised. 💀
What I’d say to the person in the dream and the person on the phone if I could. 🖕
My nightmares are usually unpleasant re-imaginings of unfortunate events. That also means I’m still thinking about them to this day. I don’t often feel that my life is being threatened at these moments. This was different. It was a mixture of bad, reconfigured memories along with amplified threats to my well-being. While it’s not something that would actually happen it felt real in that moment. It was already violent in one way when I experienced it in reality but now it was corporeally violent. 2020, what a year.
The weather is a bit chilly and gloomy today too. It’d be nice if it rained to provide something soothing to hear. While I know there’s still time for the day to evolve I feel the tone has been set. I’m exhausted again, not sure what I want to do today, and I have a lot I’ll be unpacking from the terrible things I saw in my sleep.
Apparently certain sleeping positions can encourage bad dreams to propagate. I slept on my belly, which is not typical for me, though it’s something I’ve been trying to practice. It may not have helped.
Anyway.
Ideally, in some small way, I wish to implement a schedule. Waking up at 8:30 AM sounds like the optimal area for me to strive for currently. I’m kind of aping a schedule I found online that I really liked but I’m going to configure it for what I think might work for me.
8:30 AM: Wake up
9:00 AM: Prepare mate
9:30 AM: Eat breakfast
10:00 AM: Shower and/or Get dressed
11:00 AM: Work (In my case, decluttering, painting, drawing, anything that needs and wants to be done)
1:00 PM: Lunch (If I’m not hungry I think eating more fruit as a filling snack may be the answer)
3:00 PM: Continued work or exercise with my brother (He’s considering doing it midday. I go when he goes)
4:00 PM: More work
5:00 PM: Freeballing hours
This is the rough, unpracticed skeleton of a schedule. We’ll see how it goes once I’m able to hit that wake up time. As a tenderfoot of… life I thought a 9-5 schedule would be good to follow as a routine. I know this doesn’t resemble a typical or common one but… gotta start somewhere.
The first new thing I’m going to try is actually dressing like I’m going out. I haven’t put on makeup in over a month but looking nice might help me feel like getting stuff done. And since there’s no one to dress up for except for myself well… might as well. 💅🏽
What do you folks do when you can’t sleep?