I basically need to blitz today. I don’t want to! But! I! Have! To!
I downloaded a Pomodoro method app, paid two dollars so I could customize the times, and managed to get two boxes packed last night. They’re crudely packed, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t bother sifting through what I wanted or didn’t want. My time isolated in this bedroom has shown me stuff I bought or dug out of the trash two years ago proved useful eventually. So, yes, I’m enabling a bad habit but I’m hoping I get my act together when I’m home and can throw away things there. Anyway, the app was a good motivator since it could time the focus interval as well as the break. Even having that one small addition of a second timer made a huge difference so I didn’t have to think about it or get distracted setting a second timer. And you can have it loop!
Originally I was going to run over to the studio to directly receive the shipping box but I found out I didn’t have to be there when they arrived. My driver was going to be there early and I was just about to shower but she told me it was all good. She was great, I was able to describe the somewhat confusing back parking lot area that the drop off would occur and she nailed it. Now, under cover of darkness, I’ll go to the studios to pack up the container when there’s no traffic (traffic isn’t light anymore, there’s more people than ever on the road and I haven’t driven in well over a month). I ordered more breakfast sandwiches to take with me tonight while I pack and repair the studio.
On a random note, I came across a fantastic term to describe a very particular thing I’ve wanted to articulate but couldn’t find the words for: Schrödinger's Douchebag. Don’t be that person. Really. I could write a whole essay about why this kind of thing bothers me so much but the definition does a good job of illustrating why this isn’t a good thing to be. I’ve met a lot of people like this in my life and it’s something I have less patience to withstand the older I get. The internet came through with a nice and succinct way to put it.
I guess this entry is more just tangential rants than anything. But they’re all kind of like that if I think about it.
I’m not sure what that would entail, especially now, but my k/d ratio in regards to romance is not great. It’d essentially be stupid to try (I know that’s a cruel thing to say to myself but the thought of it terrifies me even though I’d love to be in a healthy, loving relationship) It’s like they know this isn’t what I want to think about but that it’s still gnawing at my thoughts. Turbulent Tuesday 🥴
Maybe I’ll do a cropped compilation of all the odd notifications Co-star sends me. They send these to everybody at different intervals but sometimes the timing knows how to push my buttons.
I didn’t sleep well again, I keep waking up early. I’m going to resume showering, hang up my laundry, and depending on how I feel after the shower I’ll either nap or continue packing.
As you can see, when I’m not making art, and when I have anything else to do… I’m quite boring. So far I’ve shown that I don’t like doing anything that requires organizing and I spend a lot of my free time reliving the pain of the past while lamenting feeling lonely. Ha.
I look forward to having more happy, less neurotic things to share. I’m excited to fix things up back at home so I can work efficiently. But perhaps that will also have to wait until my two week self-quarantine passes. I should probably mentally prepare for that.