Feeling introspective today. I’d say “weirdly” before that usually but it can’t be all that weird if I do it constantly.
And that doesn’t mean I’m being thoughtful about it either. Doesn’t make me a scholar or wiser for the effort. I only get a few breaks in the mind cloud for that kind of windfall to occur.
And why am I discussing this within a blog concerning the things that occur in this bedroom and apartment? This is a huge part of it. This is where I wind up and down. And when the winding down happens, and that can now happen at any time of day, that’s where my mind wanders. I am surrounded by objects that hold a lot of associations and memories along with artworks I’ve imbued with those same feelings. It’s an echo chamber. While I do believe it’s turning the tide and finally transforming into something else there’s still a lot of psychological… build up. It feels more like accrued debt.
So, I’ll keep working, thinking, sleeping, whatever-ing in here. But this is where it all happens, no longer by choice.
I even started thinking about a song I stumbled across earlier this year, before I finally broke out of my musical slump. 2019 was the year I listened to the least amount of music ever in my young adult life. No new albums, nothing new from bands I like, couldn’t listen to old favorites, just random one-off songs. I started digging into older alt-rock and a bunch of stuff from the 80s/90s since they seem to deliver melancholy in a flavor that resonates with me.
Here’s the song. I played it extensively (The music video is a trip in that old school stage play kind of way):
Have a good Monday, folks. As a toast to all of y’all I’m probably going to order some Del Taco, join class, finish my homework, and pass out in a food coma from said Del Taco and class. Cheers.